Weekend Ramblings: Dungeons & Dragons, John Wick 4, and a Rant-of-the-Week

Plus, a tease of the Arctic Ninja comic strip!

Greetings, my readers. First off, my apologies for being a little absent the past few weeks. As I’ve noted before, I’m in the midst of a move and all the details involved with that, which always seems fairly simple on the surface, but is a logistical and financial nightmare. By mid-summer, I plan to be settled, so my Substack entries will be a little sporadic, although I also have new content on the way that I think many of you will enjoy.

So, first up, let’s talk about some movies. Many of you already follow me on Twitter (@arcticninjapaul), but for those that don’t, it’s the best place to catch my most up-to-date quick reviews for new movies, so give it a follow if that’s of interest to you. My longer-form thoughts will go here and are always subject to change from the original tweets, as my mind may change. I know. It’s a concept.

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

I saw an early screening of Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves a few weeks ago, which was part of an Amazon Prime early access preview, and was pleasantly surprised. Directed by Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley (who will always be “Mitch” from the comedy Waiting…), D&D is a fresh, fun, funny, and cool entry to the adventure/comedy genre that nails the tone that Shazam: Fury of the Gods was going for, but failed to hit. Starring Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, Justice Smith, Regé-Jean Page, Sophia Lillis, and Hugh Grant, D&D is an adaptation of the tabletop game of the same name, featured prominently in Stranger Things, and previously adapted in 2000 as a more straight-laced action/fantasy film with Jeremy Irons and Marlon Wayans (yes, I get the irony there).

It was also adapted into a cartoon series in the 80s, from which I am most familiar, although I never really got into it back then. Still, it was part of that era and I always remember really wanting to get into it, but I just couldn’t, for whatever reason. Being a tabletop RPG with a multitude of characters, it always seemed like there was never a clear lead protagonist, just a hodgepodge of them that never really stood out.

Surprisingly, that’s the direction that the new film takes, creating an ensemble of heroes that ever so slightly leans toward Pine’s character as the lead protagonist, but is mostly a shared endeavor. However, in this instance, it works well, and I found myself interested in all the characters to a degree, rather than having to have one singular character take center stage. Pine, who has struggled with leading-man status throughout his career as it is, finds great footing with Dungeons & Dragons, playing a protagonist that capitalizes on his charm, wit, and comedic timing, as well as the action heroics, making for a kind of 90s era smart-ass hero that we don’t see too frequently anymore.

The script by Daley, Goldstein, and Michael Gilio is smart, fun, and breezy, making this a playful film overall that never takes itself too seriously, yet still manages to be convincing and engrossing in the world it creates. That may seem like a simple task, but it’s not. It’s much easier to just focus on being one genre and laying it on thick. Finding a balance that actually works, especially when comedy plays a role is hard as hell, and screwing that up can mean disaster for your movie.

Fortunately, D&D is that rare unicorn, pun intended, that is able to strike that balance while giving us fun and interesting protagonists, numerous set pieces, and some cool VFX (and even cooler practical effects), all of which makes for a rare treat that feels like a nostalgic slice of fantasy cinema from the 90s. It’s breezy as hell and a good ride, which is nice every now and again. It also doesn’t ask much of the audience in terms of investing in a slew of future franchise films, but the door swings wide open to continue if people show up. I’m calling this one a win.

John Wick 4

The John Wick series has been a behemoth from the start and John Wick 4 is like the biggest predator in a series of predators feeding on one another until it reaches the top of the chain. And, make no mistake, John Wick 4 IS the top of the chain.

Director Chad Stahelski, who began as a stunt performer alongside David Leitch, the co-director of the first John Wick (who later moved on to films like Deadpool 2, Atomic Blonde, and Bullet Train) once again infuses the high-octane, stunt-refined action into a finely-tuned ballet of bullets and carnage, making the film into something of an action musical. In a standard musical, there would be short bursts of dialogue and exposition, followed by a long-winded and carefully orchestrated song-and-dance number. For the John Wick series, you simply replace action pieces with musical numbers. The dialogue is sparse and the story is simple, leading from one massive action romp to the next.

Simply put, there’s never been anything quite like this, particularly as a franchise series. John Wick is a series that wears its action cred loud and proud, never trying to be more than what it is, yet still creating an entire underworld of colorful, wild, and compelling characters, settings, and mythology that revels in economical storytelling. The films don’t shy away from taking a breather and letting the audience get immersed in the world of John Wick, but they also never lose sight of why they’re there.

Reeves, for his part, is as committed as ever in his fourth outing as the titular character, once again proving that the franchise rests comfortably on his capable shoulders and that he’s more than up to the challenge to deliver the promise of pulse-pounding “holy shit” action that the series is known for. Whether he’s using guns, knives, nunchaku, cars, motorcycles, or his bare fists, Reeves is front-and-center throughout John Wick 4, his face in full view the majority of the time, reminding the audience that it really is the 58-year-old actor kicking ass and taking names.

What struck me most about John Wick 4 was how every action sequence felt like the final battle of any regular action movie. The size, scope, and relentless pace made every sequence something special, rather than a toss-away distraction to a bombastic finale. In fact, the finale is a far more reserved, yet still thrilling, sequence. In that sense, JW4 does it all in reverse, which works tremendously to its credit. It’s almost overwhelming, much in the way of something like The Raid (or, even The Raid 2), where you need to take a breath, even if you’re simply sitting comfortably in a darkened theater and eating a bucket of popcorn.

And you can’t mention a John Wick movie without talking about the outstanding roster of guest stars from film to film and JW4 finds some great new additions, particularly Donnie Yen as a blind assassin who has a history with John Wick. But, even Yen is almost upstaged by veteran action star Scott Adkins, wearing a fatsuit and playing a comical and dangerous villain in the middle of the film. Add in Bill Skarsgard as the new high-table baddie, with Hiroyuki Sanada, Clancy Brown, and Rina Sawayama mixed into the proceedings and you have yet another banger of a cast that makes these films feel far more rounded than you’d ever expect.

By the end of John Wick 4, I was exhausted, and in the best possible way. No one should be walking out of the film thinking they didn’t at least get their money’s worth, even if the finale is somewhat controversial.

SPOILERS AHEAD

So, for those that have seen the film, the ending of John Wick 4 has sparked a lot of debate over one simple question: Is John Wick actually dead? I’ve even had a number of fans reach out to ask me about this in DM’s, so I’ll address it here to give a little added perspective. The first thing to keep in mind is that the John Wick films take place within a very small window of time. Basically, the first four films take place in less than a year, which is a tiny peek at the full scope of John Wick’s life.

Taking that into account, let’s look at the other John Wick spinoff projects that are forthcoming. Next year will see the debut of Ballerina, starring Ana de Armas, as a female assassin from within the underworld ranks of John Wick, and is expected to have cameos from Reeves himself, as well as the late Lance Reddick as Charon, Ian McShane as Winston, and Angelica Huston as The Director, the head of a Russian crime syndicate featured in John Wick: Chapter 3.

Ballerina will take place between John Wick 3 and John Wick 4, providing some extra subtext to his journey, as well as the titular Ballerina played by de Armas. In addition to Ballerina, there is the prequel event series The Continental, which takes place in 1970 New York City, focusing on a young Winston (played by Colin Woodell), a young Charon (played by Ayomide Adegun) and also starring Mel Gibson as an unknown character named Cormac. This event series will consist of three 90-minute episodes that will debut on Peacock sometime later in 2023 (suspected in September, but that may change).

So, a prequel series and a spinoff concurrent/pseudo-prequel movie are on the way, expanding the John Wick mythos. But, where does that leave John Wick himself after his supposed death at the end of John Wick 4? Well, if Lionsgate has anything to say about it, he most certainly isn’t dead and they want more of him ASAP. In fact, John Wick 4 and John Wick 5 were originally supposed to be shot back-to-back, but Covid fucked that all up and they settled with just doing a part 4. Does that mean there is already an answer to John Wick’s fate in an unshot John Wick 5 script? Maybe.

But, before I address the obvious aspect of John Wick’s life/death, let’s look at the architect of the series, Chad Stahelski. To date, Stahelski has ONLY made the John Wick films and has a stack of projects awaiting his attention, including Rainbow Six with Michael B. Jordan for Amazon, a Highlander reboot with Henry Cavill, and his next big project, Ghost of Tsushima, a samurai tale based on the video game of the same name.

While we, as fans, would love to see Stahelski just keep churning out John Wick movies until the end of time, the bottom line, as an artist, Stahelski has to grow, challenge, and fuel his own inspiration, and that means a little break from the John Wick series. I’d say he’s earned it, really, and I’d love to see what he brings to something that doesn’t involve the franchise he’s worked exclusively in since 2014. Once he’s dipped his brush in some fresh paint, he may be ready to come back to the colors he’s known for and approach John Wick with a fresh perspective, but for now, it looks like Stahelski is looking for other avenues to explore, at least for a bit.

Add this to the fact that Stahelski shot two different endings for John Wick 4. One ending was the one audiences saw, with Winston and The Bowery King standing over Wick’s grave, the character seemingly dead, but with a slight side-eye ambiguity. The other ending made it clear that John Wick was still alive, but test audiences apparently liked the one where he was dead better. But, audiences aren’t stupid. They know that no one stays dead in the movies. Resurrection is all part of drama and moviegoers know that the end isn’t always THE END.

So, for me, I think the stars aligned to give some closure to John Wick with the fourth film. It’s hard enough to improve from sequel to sequel and you always want to go out on a high note when possible. The end of John Wick 3 left a lot of fans pissed that there wasn’t some finality, and I think that played a role in bringing the story full circle by the end of the film. Ultimately, how long can John Wick realistically continue his rampant revenge journey, stacking bodies up ad nausea until it catches up to him? In many ways, the filmmakers respected the audience enough to say, “Look, we get it. There’s no way he could do this forever.” And they’re right.

Closing the book with John Wick 4 allows the character to rest a bit…or rest forever. If he rests forever, then his legacy lives undisputed. If he returns in John Wick 5 and beyond, it allows the creative folks behind the series to put together a proper return, but at the risk of sullying a legacy if it doesn’t deliver.

Is John Wick’s fate set in stone? Yes. No. Maybe. It depends. And that’s the best it can be.

END OF SPOILER

Rant of the Week

If you’ve known me or followed me for any amount of time then you know I can go into “rant mode”. It’s part of my dubious charm. Or my deepest flaw. I don’t know, but I wanted to share a rant that many of you can surely relate to, which is the proliferation of tipping EVERYONE, so much so that if you find yourself paying for goods or services on a tablet then you can rest a-fucking-sured that you’ll not only be asked if you want to tip, but even breaking it down for “quick selections” of 10, 15, or 20 percent. There’s also the option of leaving a custom tip, but many fold under the pressure of having to choose one of the options on the spot that they simply click one of the three choices and dismiss it out of sight, so as to end the transaction quickly and get the hell out of there.

So, a little set-up on this. Here in Utah they just opened a Sprinkles Cupcakes shop. They’re tasty little cupcakes with perfectly evened-out frosting on every cupcake, topped with a circular candy that I always throw away. I’m a fan and wanted to see if they held up in their first Utah store. I entered the store with my wife and there was a teenage boy behind the counter. He gave us a “welcome in” and we stood, soaking in the layout of the place, as anyone does when they enter a new establishment and try to figure out the layout that eventually leads to a transaction.

We looked over the menu on the back wall and decided we were ready to order. We approached the counter, my eyes on the kid working there, but as we got to it, we were confronted with, you guessed it, an ordering tablet. It was up to us savvy middle-aged wizards to not only place our order on the iPad, as well as pay for it, but then this fucking thing had the audacity to ask for a tip!

I laughed to myself and furrowed up my brow incredulously, choosing the NO TIP option. The order was put in and the kid working the counter, not two feet away from us, picked out four cupcakes, already made, put them in a box, and handed them to us. Now, listen, I’m all for tipping a server or a tattoo artist, or anyone that really put in some effort for my cash. That’s fair. That’s realistic. That’s deserved. But, I’m supposed to give a 20% tip to a kid that literally had to do what he’s paid for hourly, which amounted to putting four cupcakes in a box and handing them to me. He might be a nice kid. A great kid, even. He may need money badly. I understand. But, to think that simply showing up to work and doing exactly what you’re paid to do allots a tip is simply insane to me and this shit is getting out of control.

It’s everywhere now. Subway wants a tip (and you could almost make a case for it, as they at least have to actually make your sandwich). But, I get it at coffee shops, too, even when I’m just buying a food item and bringing it to the counter just to pay for it. I mean, are we going to tip grocery check-out clerks now, too, because that’s the same rationale.

But, that’s a whole other issue. Self-checkout has basically made me an employee of every store that offers it. Not only do I have to scan, bag, weigh, and enter a bunch of codes for produce, but I’m expected to follow the rules and not screw anything up. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t show up for register training at my local grocery store in order to use self-checkout. Rather than me tipping, I think stores should offer a discount for self-checkout. It’s no longer just a convenience, either. In many stores, they’ve downsized to the point that you really don’t have any other option but to use self-checkout.

Taking it one step further is the donate and “round-up” bullshit at checkout. I mean, look, it’s great to donate what you can to an organization that needs it, so long as you know, without a doubt, where your money is going, as well as what the organization actually is and whether or not it’s legit. I mean, my grocery store has asked me to donate cents on the dollar (or more) to every cause under the sun, at one point even going so far as to ask if I wanted to donate to “starving families”. I mean, why not just look me in the eye and ask, “Do you want to donate to low-income, abused, burn-victim kids with cancer, AIDS, and Covid, or are you a piece of shit that just wants his half-and-half, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and a bag of apples?”

Well, I’m not falling for that shit. The bottom line is, I have no idea what any of these organizations are that just pop up on a screen and ask me for more than what I’m already paying. How do I know that it’s not just some scam like Peter, Michael, and Samir ran in Office Space? Or that it’s not going directly to the store that I’m already paying for their goods?

But, Paul, why can’t you just give your money to these places? It’s only a quarter. It was only fifty cents. Yeah, well, by the time I’m done bleeding my heart to every single place I frequent, it’s like I’ve signed up for another streaming service and wondering why my bank account is taking a hit. Maybe, just maybe, it’s not a question of being a “good guy” that gives to charity and a sucker that gets taken at every place he gives his business to, because he wants to…what? Look good in front of the cashier? Feign moral righteousness to his friends? I’d just assume to keep it all separate, thanks very much.

There are absolutely organizations that you can donate money to and try and do some good for. As humans, we feel the need to help one another and I hope we never lose that. In fact, it’s one of the few things that separates us from our lesser forms. But, our desire to help, to be generous, and to make a difference in the world doesn’t mean we should be suckers who divvy out our hard-earned money to everyone with a handout, especially when it’s an iPad tablet asking for more than what it’s earned.

Let me know if you agree or disagree and feel free to donate 20 percent of your income.

NEXT WEEK:

The Arctic Ninja cometh!

Next week begins a new addition to The Way of the Shirey, which will be my first-ever weekly comic strip. I’m into the final act of my upcoming three-part graphic novel The War/Scars, but I have other comic endeavors to get off the ground, which starts with Arctic Ninja. While it may be the namesake I’ve adopted in my public platforms, it’s also rooted in my military service as a paratrooper in Alaska, so this will be a fun, violent, action-heavy, mythological tale told in a weekly comic-strip format, all done completely digital. I’m excited to share it with you, dear readers, and hope that you’ll enjoy it as much as I am. It’s going to be a wild ride that will tell a complete story, which will run for about a year, so stick around and check back weekly as the Arctic Ninja is about to make his grand entrance!